


In The End, It Was You

by ayveex3



Category: Red Queen Series - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: Affection, Angst and Humor, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Romance, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 02:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20538365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayveex3/pseuds/ayveex3
Summary: Mare has been away from politics for three months and Premier Davidson is hosting a celebratory feast, also a reunion. Mare and Cal make their decisions when getting away from the dinner party.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this right after I finished War Storm, and haven't read Broken Throne yet. This is my extended alternative ending in order to feel more closure at the time.

It has been three months now since the battle in Archeon against the Lakelanders. Three months since Maven’s last breath and giving space to another Calore brother. My family stayed in Paradise Valley, spending as much time with each other as we could. No more worries, no more running off to battle and back again, grateful to be alive. I spent my days lazily with Gisa and Kilorn while my older brothers continued to train. Mom and Dad’s relationship have improved steadily now that they’re able to do more after Dad’s leg healed up, thanks to Sara. We watch over Clara when Farley is too busy with Command work, but the times she returns, there’s no tearing them apart. Clara looks more and more like Shade every day.

As part of Julian’s job, he travels once a month between Norta and Montfort for a week. He is the proud representative of Silver Nortans and relays important political messages with elected members of Montfort’s democracy. It’s nice to see him when he isn’t so buried in books. He gives me snippets of information about Cal but never too much. Cal has been busy helping restore Norta with other Scarlet Guard and Montfort members there, especially at Ocean Hill. The one true place he could call his, considering it belonged to his mother.

Three long months since we kissed farewell back in Archeon. My heart feels heavy and I’ve suppressed my own feelings in search of who I am in the time we’ve spent apart.

I know that killing Maven doesn’t make me a monster. At least, that’s what Gisa constantly reassures me. I killed an actual monster. Someone who hurt others repeatedly and never took responsibility. I am no longer Mareena Titanos, that girl having died back in the arena with Cal. My lightning is part of me, but I am no longer a face of rebellion, and I am grateful. People no longer recoil in fear at me or my strange powers. I’m no longer a thief, living a simple life of survival. I have Kilorn to thank for reassuring me that I am simply Mare Barrow, with or without her lightning. I am still me at the core. The experiences I went through have turned me into someone stronger, with more value, someone important to the change this world needs. I’ve learned how to cope with love, heartache, and loss. Compassion reflects my thoughts when it comes to death, after witnessing lives lost from the battles of Norta. I feel more content with myself, knowing my own values and what I stand for. After months of wallowing in my own self misery and hesitation, confidence radiates more often from me.

So why does my expression look so full of nerves in the mirror of my bedroom?

I stare at myself. I’m biting my lip anxiously at the idea of a celebratory reunion dinner with everybody in Ascendant. My dark hair with the ends dyed purple falls gently in soft curls around my shoulders. It’s longer than before. My dark brown eyes are accented by Gisa’s handiwork with makeup. I’m wearing a deep, burgundy colored dress. It hugs my curves in all the right places and I blush, thinking this may be too much for a simple dinner. It’s an off the shoulder dress and my eyes naturally stray to where I expect the brand to be, but it’s gone. I had a healer finally get rid of my past nightmares when I was ready to let go.

I hear a low whistle from my bedroom door.

Kilorn stands in the doorway, looking handsome as ever in his own black suit and tie. He looks more muscular despite his wiry frame. He’s been working out more with Bree and Tramy, not wanting to be a hindrance to any potential future battles. Even though he focuses mainly on staying out of the way.

“Looking good, Barrow.”

I smile, despite my anxiety. “I’m surprised you can actually clean up nicely.”

He makes his way over to the mirror, standing beside me. He adjusts his too tight tie, trying to loosen it. It looks crooked instead. “Your mom had to help all of us look presentable, else she wouldn’t let us leave the house. Kind of a big deal when not just members of the rebellion are invited.”

Premier Davidson was holding a huge feast to celebrate the accomplishments we had achieved in the past year. Usually it’d be a small dinner with strictly key members of the Scarlet Guard and Montfort, but this time he wanted everybody to hear of this good news.

Gisa knocks at my open door. She’s wearing a soft pink dress with a high neckline, and her red hair is elegantly lifted up into a bun. More beautiful than I could ever be at 16, despite the frown she’s wearing. “Hurry up, you two. We’re going to be late.”

All three of us walk downstairs to where the rest of my family is waiting. Farley is actually dressed in a red dress for once, the bottom slit for more movement. She’s holding Clara closely to her chest, fast asleep. The rest of my family is also dressed for the occasion, excitement humming through the air.

Farley smirks at me. “Took you long enough. I’m starting to think being chronically challenged runs in the family.”

Bree folds his arms across his broad chest, huffing. “Not me.”

“Or me,” Tramy pitches in.

“We must have picked up Mare and Shade off the side of the road,” Gisa jokes, referring to our lack of time management.

The room goes quiet for a moment, the mention of one family member missing and unable to see how far we’ve come. After all, Shade and I, being newbloods, contributed to the cause greatly and yet only one of us is still breathing.

Dad is the first to break the silence with a low chuckle. My mom’s soft laughter joins after, and it feels like relief flooding through the room with a twinge of sadness. We all miss him dearly. A month ago, I returned to Tuck Island with Carmadon and a few other greenwardens. I didn’t want to leave him abandoned and forgotten. It was an empty island, all supplies having been taken, storages emptied out. It was a hard task. We worked endlessly for a day, creating the island into a glorious memorial to visit every year. Carmadon is a skilled greenwarden, crafting arches of leaves with blossoming flowers towards the gravesite. The island is beautiful in vibrant colors of green, blue, purple, red. The soft, fragrant smell of the flowers wafts throughout the island on the breeze carried in by the salty ocean waves. It is nothing of the place it used to be, having carried runaway families and hardened soldiers in the bunkers. It is warm and welcoming. You can almost feel Shade’s presence there when visiting.

Subconsciously, I reach for the purple gem in my ear. Shade is always with me, no matter where I go.

All of us step outside of our house into the warm, summer air. The sun is just beginning to set, casting an orange pink glow across the sky. Two transports wait for us, our family too big to be taken by only one. The drivers are none other than Rafe and Tyton. Rafe grins hugely at us and Tyton simply winks. I’m happy the Premier knew me well enough to send familiar faces rather than friendly Montfort strangers to escort us.

“How you been, lightning girl?” Rafe asks, using my old nickname.

I raise my hands up, allowing the old familiar feeling of my sparks to intertwine through my fingers. “Still alive.”

Tyton chuckles at my show of power. I haven’t had to use my lightning at all in the past three months. The others have been fighting off measly raider attacks, leaving me truly stress free of anything.

I get on Tyton’s transport, along with Farley and Clara, Kilorn, and Gisa. The rest of my family enters Rafe’s transport, travelling behind us. Gisa and Kilorn discuss Gisa’s love life. She’s smitten with the shopgirl in the city, updating Kilorn with details of the dates they’ve gone on already. Kilorn nods fervently, providing what little advice he can with his lack of experience. I gaze out the window, down the sloping mountains. My hands fidget around, not wanting to think about a certain boy who is sure to be at the feast.

I feel a hand rest on top of my own, stilling me. It’s Farley. Ever since Clara’s birth, she’s become a lot more affectionate towards the people she cares about. It still surprises me to know she considers me as part of her family. I look at her blue eyes holding my stare, knowingly.

“You’ll be fine, Barrow.”

I exhale. “I know,” I lie.

Farley isn’t buying it. She adjusts Clara before focusing her attention on me. “You both needed time away from the situation. You made the right choice.”

I told him not to wait for me. I told him we needed space, that I needed to figure out who I am after everything. I don’t know why I’m so nervous to see him. Am I afraid he’s moved on? Am I afraid of how he views me now, after what I had done? He’s had time to reflect on choices, same as me. We haven’t spoken, except for Julian’s updates. I’ve missed him terribly in the last three months, but it’s been a huge comfort to be away from anything political, anything reminiscent of former Silver life. And he is the strongest reminder of what an adventure to near death has been for the past year.

The transport grows quiet, no one wanting to ask me anything about him. Kilorn furrows his eyebrows together, thinking about how this dinner will go. Gisa looks out the window with hostility in her eyes.

She finally looks at me, eyes gleaming. “If he’s still upset about your decision months ago, let me know and I’ll punch him in the face.” Gisa isn’t a fighter but right now she looks as menacing as those angry bison we fought a while ago.

I nod, giving her a small smile. Grateful for my family and their protectiveness over me. Grateful that for once, I don’t have to worry about their safety anymore. That the roles are reversed, even in a minor aspect.


	2. Chapter 2

Our transports arrive at Davidson’s palace of a home, and the front is packed with newbloods, Silvers, and Reds. The inside of the home seems to be flowing with people and it’s incredibly lively. Soft, classical music drifts from the speakers of the poles lined around the house. Chit chat fills the air and the sound of glass filled with wine tinkles around me. Everyone is dressed so elegantly that I feel underdressed compared to how I felt back at the house. I spot Davidson and his husband at the grand front door. He notices me and smiles welcomingly, maneuvering his way through the crowd to greet the Barrow family.

My family and I stand there awkwardly, not used to fancy feasts considering the lifestyle we grew up in. Poor, dirty, scavenging to survive in the Stilts. But Davidson shakes hands with all of us, gesturing to his estate.

“Welcome back, Barrow family. Thank you for joining our celebratory feast on the trials and battles we have won over the past year. The most progress has been made thanks to General Farley, Mare, and Kilorn. Dinner will start in the left wing of the palace, the grand banquet hall in about 15 minutes. There are no seating arrangements but please feel free to join me at the head of the table when the time comes.”

We nod, aware of our highly ranked position in Davidson’s circle, thanks to contributions from Farley and I. My mom looks at me, understanding I need some time to reunite with former fighting allies. Taking my dad’s arm, she says, “We’ll be waiting in the grand hall for you. Take your time.”

Kilorn’s already slipping away, having spotted Cameron with her family near the fountain. Traitor.

Bree and Tramy leave as well to socialize with people inside the palace. Farley squeezes my hand before she leaves with my parents, Gisa, and Clara, to save seats for us in the grand banquet hall. I try to form a smile but feel like it comes off more as a grimace.

They leave me to my own devices, but I’m not sure where to start. My eyes roam the crowd, and I realize I’m searching for one particular face. Stop that.

My feet move aimlessly through the crowd. Funny how even surrounded by a ton of people, I can’t help but feel vulnerable and alone. A few people come up to me and thank me for my contributions to the cause. My face flushes from the appreciation but I nod all the same. They regard me as some sort of hero even though we all knew it had to be done. I was just fighting for what I believed in.

I realize I’m getting nowhere being outside and find a place I’m more familiar with. Entering the palace, servants offer me glasses of wine that I kindly reject. I follow the path to the library where I know Julian will be, regardless of a party going on or not. I’m not surprised to see him bent over a book, studying the text with the concentration of a war general. I wonder what’s got him so hooked on it. Sara Skonos sits beside him, reading a book on human anatomy silently.

I cough to draw his attention. No response. I flicker the lights on and off for a few seconds to really let my presence be known.

He doesn’t have to look up to know it’s me. “Mare, there’s a party to be enjoyed and you choose to be with an old man? I’m flattered you find me so exciting.”

I roll my eyes. Sara has enough courtesy to look up from her book to smile warmly in greeting at me. Slumping into a dusty chair across from them, I glance at the book title. Genetic Mutations from Silver to Red. More research on why newbloods came into existence.

Unlike the others, I’ve seen Julian every now and then. We don’t have to go through the motions of catching up with another. “They see me as a hero.”

Julian doesn’t break pace. “Is that not what you would call yourself?”

“No,” I shake my head. “I was just doing what I thought was right. I’m still not used to the attention.”

He looks up at me now, observing my expression. “Heroes are often regarded for doing the right things for the population as a whole. Usually things others would prefer not to do, out of fear.”

“Then wouldn’t that make you a hero? And Farley, and Davidson?”

“By our own right, then yes.” Julian flips the page to his book, skimming through text again. “Although, we’ve received enough gratitude in the past couple of months while you’ve been in hiding.”

My face heats up. That’s right. Out of the representatives in the Scarlet Guard and of Montfort, I am the only one who refused to participate in the meetings and councils. They were left to decide the future of Norta and which action to take regarding the rebuilding of my former country. I can only imagine how many times they were stopped and thanked in the past three months while I hid from the world, needing the space from everyone and everything. Now that I’m out in the open, people can properly pay their respects and appreciation to me.

Julian looks up to wink at me. “I say to simply accept their gratitude. You’ve done a great deal of service for the Scarlet Guard.”

I shrug, admitting he’s right. Glancing at the clock, Sara softly says, “Dinner will be starting soon, Mare. We’ll see you at the table.”

I take it as a sign to leave, and I make my way out of the library. I roam the inner workings of the palace, getting thanked at every corner. It’s a little bit exhausting. Faces become a blur and I try to block everything out. Eventually, I duck my head, trying to lay low in the crowd. Deep down, I know who I’m searching for but am I ready to confront him? Do I really want to see him again?

I rush into a little alcove below some stairs, calming my nerves. I take deep breaths in. It’s been awhile since I’ve been surrounded by so many people. I wonder where he could be though.

The sound of giggling and soft voices carries their way to me from above. I hear the click of multiple heels walking down the stairs. I glance from my hidden position underneath the stairwell and I see long, silver hair next to red hair. It’s Evangeline and Elane. They’re linking arms and leaning intimately into one another. They stop at the bottom of the staircase, sharing a very sensual kiss before heading towards the banquet hall. I blush at such a private moment and turn my gaze away, not wanting to intrude.

With a flash, a metal knife flies by my face only inches away. My heart pounds when I turn to look where it came from, lightning threatening to spill from my fingertips. The rush of adrenaline from a battle hasn’t hit me in so long.

Evangeline Samos smirks at me. “I knew I sensed a rat.”

For a split second, I feel irritation at how close she came to cutting my face and then I remember that if she really wanted to, she would have. I was the one caught unaware at this point. Elane wears a simple black dress while Evangeline is all done up in her usual metal made dress. Ready for any fight to happen, looking as intimidating as possible. She also looks a lot more at ease than she ever had in Norta. She and Elane can openly be together with no judgment. Evangeline had thrown everything away for love. Her life of royalty, her crown, her family. If only a certain fire prince felt the same.

“I wonder when you guys will learn that a palace has quite a ton of rooms open for privacy,” I say, folding my arms across my chest.

“And I wonder when you’ll learn to realize that spying on people has its consequences,” Evangeline retorts, with Elane giggling behind her hand. Disgust fills me at their open display of affection but at the same time, I feel happy for her.

“I didn’t expect to run into you so soon, much less, at all,” I shrug. “Shouldn’t you guys be at the banquet hall already?”

Evangeline raises a perfectly arched brow. “Elane and I had to get ready beforehand. To look presentable and strong takes time.” She and Elane exchange secret and knowing glances, and I don’t even want to know what their definition of getting ready is.

“Anyway,” she continues smoothly. She pulls the knife from the wall to form back into her dress. I resist the urge to shudder. “Shouldn’t you be in the process of making up with Cal by now? I thought you’d be busy with him before the dinner.”

I flinch at the open use of his name. All the happiness I felt for her dissipates. Everyone had been so busy skirting around the topic, but not Evangeline. She gets straight to the point.

“I haven’t seen him,” I mutter. I inspect the ends of my purple hair, nonchalantly.

“Oh?” she muses. “I believe I last saw him-”

“I don’t need to know,” I move brusquely past her. I’m not ready to face him yet. I don’t know if I ever will be.

Unfortunately for me, we’re all going to the same place. Evangeline and Elane follow closely behind me.

“He still seems to be quite hung up on you, after you broke his heart,” she tells me. I clench my teeth. She must think she’s doing me a favor informing me about how he feels. Sensing my discomfort, she goes on slyly, “Although I can’t be sure if it’s because he still has feelings for you or because he’s had reflections from moving on. After all, we’ve all suffered a great deal from that particular situation.” She’s referring to the awkward betrothal to Cal, and how she literally forced him and I to cross the distance we tried so hard to keep between each other. Only for it to end with her running away with her own lover and me insisting on space, after he gave up everything for me.

“When have you talked to him?” I ask sharply. I can feel her smugness coat the air around us.

“Earlier in the afternoon.” I hear the grin in her tone. She’s baiting me, trying to draw my curiosity out. I refuse to fall into this trap.

We cross from the west wing of the palace to the east wing now, getting closer to the banquet hall. It appears most of the crowd is already settled inside, a few more trickling in. I pause outside the open doors, turning to glare at Evangeline. She glances at Elane, a thoughtful expression crossing her features. It’s all an act.

“Oh dear,” she puts one hand to where her heart should be, if she had one. “I should also warn you that he’s been spending a lot more time with a pretty girl from Piedmont. What was she again, Elane?”

Elane joins in on the fun. “I believe she was a skin healer.”

I grit my teeth together. It wouldn’t surprise me to know Cal would still be actively training and sparring with others, so of course he’d need a healer around to patch him up. Evangeline is just trying to get under my skin. At least, I hope she is. She’s trying to evoke a reaction out of me and I practice keeping my face still. I hate knowing the mere description of the girl being pretty is bothering me so badly.

Evangeline knows better, reading the tension on my face. Throwing me a sly grin, “Well, anyway, best of luck to you, lightning girl. You’re going to need it. You’ve had enough time to hide.”

With a laugh, she and Elane enter the grand hall, bigger than any hall I had ever seen. I have never seen this room before. It could easily be compared to the banquet halls in Summerton or Whitefire Palace. Thinking back to Evangeline, I hate her even more now. I hope wherever she sits is far away from me. I stalk into the room, appearing sulkier than I want to. There’s so many people inside that I don’t know where to look. The windows are wide open, allowing the refreshing sunset breeze to cool the room. The ceilings are tall and open, the premier having set up skylights so that the beauty from outside can be admired over food.

Warm, orange sunlight bleeds its way into the hall. The chandeliers sparkle above us, giving everybody a magical glow combined with the sunlight. Servants bustle around, setting down tons of plates of food onto each and every table. It looks delicious and nobody notices me enter the room, too distracted by everything else.

“Mare!” I hear a cheery voice over the voices of many. I spy Ella and her wild blue hair at the table near what can be considered the front. She’s standing up in her seat, waving wildly at me to come over. Rafe smiles sheepishly at her unembarrassed display and Tyton shakes his head. Across from her, my family sits patiently waiting for me to arrive. Cameron’s family sits beside mine, with Cameron flanking Kilorn’s left. On his right, is an empty seat for what I assume to be mine.

I walk over to my seat. Ella practically sprints out of her own chair around the table and greets me with a huge hug. I haven’t seen her in so long, forgetting how electrifying her energy is.

“I’ve missed you and your lightning,” she laughs, giving me a slight shock of her own blue lightning. I can’t help but be lifted by her mood.

“I miss practicing with you guys,” I smile at each of the electricons in turn. After months of lazing around, I think I’m ready to return back to fighting. I miss the feeling of freedom it gave me, as I call upon my own power. Knowing that it answers to nobody but me.

Ella wraps her arm around my shoulders. “Whenever you’re ready, I know the perfect place for us to really wreak havoc. It’ll be a drive but it’s worth it.”

“Is it going to be in Prairie?” I ask curiously. I can’t think of anywhere we could practice in the mountains. Our type of power needs an open space.

“It better be.” I turn and see Davidson make his way to the head of the table. “I won’t let you electricons practice ever again on the mountains. That was a lot of cleaning up to do and could have ended very disastrously.” He looks at each of them with a firm expression and they all laugh nervously. I’m assuming the last time they practiced in the mountains, a rockslide or something must have occurred, a chunk of Ella’s powerful, blue lightning ripping off a side of the mountain.

We all take our seats. Davidson remains standing, calling attention to everybody in the room. Somehow, he manages to quiet the room, gaining the respect from each person in the audience. Everyone looks toward our table and I try not to shrink back in my own chair, feeling eyes on me as well.

“Tonight, we celebrate a gathering, a feast on our victories and overcoming hard trials. Thanks to the Scarlet Guard, allies of Montfort, and good-hearted Silvers,” he glances towards Julian who simply nods in acknowledgement. “We’ve created a revolutionary change in society, ending the long and ill-suffered fates of Reds by a kingdom of Silvers. I have fought alongside a large majority of you. I have seen the obstacles of war take its hold, pulling you under. And I commend you all for fighting through it and getting right back up to pursue this cause that we have strived for.”

Applause erupts throughout the banquet hall, cheers and cries of joy. Davidson truly smiles, looking happy beyond his usually neutral expression. “We’ve come too far to stop now. A lot of progress has been made in the country of Norta, and we’ve still got a long way to go. The battle is far from over until the other countries recognize that equality is for all. Let us introduce to them the democracy Montfort lives under. That we can all coexist and live in peace no matter what the color of your blood is.” More clapping and applause breaks out. “For now, let us celebrate how far we’ve come. Let us appreciate how big the impact we have made on this country. Thank you to each and every one of you for believing in us, the cause. Thank you for the support. Thank you to those who have committed to our goals. And let us drink to a better future to come for generations.”

We all cheer loudly, I’m surprised the hall doesn’t burst from our thunderous applause. Everyone goes back to chatting and eating with one another, the hum of the feast fading into the background. Kilorn digs into his food next to me, making a mess of himself. Cameron looks at him disgusted, but I notice the wad of napkins beside her plate building up. The electricons engage in happy conversation with my family. Farley speaks every now and then, making small talk but mostly engaging with Clara. Davidson makes his rounds, travelling between tables to make sure everyone is content. Being a good host. His husband, Carmadon, sits with us. He’s used to his husband not being present at his side, but I can see the amount of love he has for Davidson. Pride swells in his facial expression.

A chair scrapes and it’s Tramy, looking extremely worried. Bree ignores him, face red from the alcohol but Gisa cares enough to ask. “What’s wrong?”

“I need a bathroom,” he says. “But I don’t know where one is.”

Bree laughs loudly, the wine getting to him. “Someone can’t handle their own alcohol. You drank too much.”

“At least I’m smart enough to keep myself hydrated,” Tramy slurs.

“I’ll help you find it,” Bree gets up a little too quickly, almost knocking over his glass. Mom grabs his elbow immediately, pulling him back down into his seat. Clucking her tongue at him, she states, “No, you will not. I will not have two drunken boys stumbling around this palace. Kilorn will take you.”

Kilorn glances over, face stuffed with bison. “Me?” The image is hilarious and makes us laugh.

“Yes,” Mom insists. “I can’t send Gisa or Mare in the chance Tramy collapses.” She looks skeptically at Tramy who is trying his best to stay upright. We’re too little to help carry him back if he falls, and I’m sure she doesn’t want to see her daughters dragging him back in front of all these people.

Kilorn shrugs. Swallowing his food, he goes, “Okay.” He stands up and leads Tramy away from the table. They hurry to the bathroom before any real disaster can happen.

The space where Kilorn sat is empty now. Everybody returns to their conversations while I pick idly at my food. One plate was enough for me, my thoughts turning my stomach into a jumbling mess.

“So what did that tin can say to you?”

Cameron’s piercing gaze finds mine, her hands wiping steadily on another napkin. I put on a smile. “Nothing important.”

She scoffs. “Yeah, right. You expect me to believe that when you came in all moody? It was about Cal, wasn’t it?”

Cameron is sixteen years old now, the same age as Gisa. She also had a lot of growing up to do in the past year, taking on the role of leadership. She focuses a lot on making political moves for the slum towns and improving relations between the techies and the rest of Nortan society. Her relationship with Kilorn has been slow but they’ve become a lot closer in the past three months. His feelings for me dwindled down greatly, and I’m happy for it. Cameron and Kilorn together are perfect, despite them being rough around the edges.

Sighing, I prod at my food with a fork. “It was.”

“Figures. The only time you and the fireball are ever down is usually because of each other.” Cameron glances at me. “Did you get a chance to talk to him?”

I shake my head. “I haven’t seen him at all since we got here.” I feel like everybody must know about our breakup by now and it’s a little bit embarrassing.

“You two should talk."

Exasperated, I tell her, “I’m fully aware, Cameron. Maybe if I actually see him for once, then everybody will stop telling me what I already know.”

“Hey, I’m just saying. You’ve been so uptight since you sat down but maybe you’re not the only one who feels the same way,” she remarks. “I know exactly where he’s sitting, and I will gladly point you his way.”

My face heats up.

“Well?” she prods. Before I can open my mouth to say anything, there’s a crash towards the door we entered in.


	3. Chapter 3

The crash draws all of our attention, each body facing the sound where it came from. It’s Kilorn and Tramy having returned from the restroom. Tramy is sitting on the ground, looking befuddled, with Kilorn holding his elbow. Kilorn’s face is flushed with embarrassment as he smiles sheepishly at everybody. From the looks of it, Tramy accidentally ran into one of the servers with a tray of wine glasses. The wood flooring has red wine spreading and there’s broken glass everywhere. The server is flushed, gathering her tray while other servants bustle around them trying to clean up the mess.

“Whoops,” Kilorn calls loudly. “Er, sorry Davidson.”

“Idiots,” Gisa mutters next to me. Mom is covering her face with her hands while Dad just shakes his head.

Davidson brushes it off with a wave of his hand. “Accidents happen.”

I stand up quickly and walk over to where Tramy sits on the floor. Bree is too preoccupied to notice what’s happening and I have to help Kilorn pick my brother up instead. Doing anything else would be better than Cameron forcing me in Cal’s direction. The servants are quick to clean up the mess, expertly collecting all the glass and mopping up the wine. I take Tramy’s other elbow and we haul him up. He’s a lot heavier than I remember.

“Nice going,” I huff at Kilorn. We slowly trudge back to the table. Everyone returns to what they were doing, seeing that the situation has been taken care of.

“He’s fine,” he brushes it off. “Makes for an exciting night. Also brought the attention of your boy for you.”

“What do you mean?” I narrow my eyes at him.

Kilorn juts his chin out towards the direction to the back of the room. My eyes naturally gravitate to where he looks and the first thing I notice is a pair of bronze, red eyes meeting mine. As familiar to me as my own face. My chest tightens up and my heartrate doubles. I look away quickly.

Kilorn just laughs. “You’ve been avoiding him like he’s some kind of disease, Mare.”

“Is everyone in on this plan to push me towards him or something?” I grumble. I drag Tramy a little bit faster. Kilorn doesn’t struggle keeping up with me with his long legs.

“No, you’re just that obvious.”

We plop Tramy down in his seat and Mom grips his wrist tightly, making sure he stays put. Kilorn returns to his own chair next to Cameron and they laugh about what happened. I remain standing, feeling very out of place and self-conscious.

“Mare?” Kilorn notices, looking up at me.

“I’m going to use the restroom,” I mumble. With quick steps, I head for the door. I feel a few confused glances towards me as I make my escape. I think I even feel a pair of smoldering eyes on me, following my form out the door.

I’m trying to still the shaking in my legs. What’s gotten into me?

I can battle a whole country, survive countless fights, and am a key member of a rebellion. I’ve been hold hostage for six months and suffered injuries that left me in a near coma, yet I can’t handle the stare of one former fire prince?

Climbing the stairs, I avoid the restrooms and try to find a balcony to get some fresh air. Thankfully for me, there are plenty of terraces and balconies to choose from, and I find the closest one. I lean on the railing, depending on it to hold me up. My legs feel weak and my hands are shaky. I breathe in deeply, letting the air cool my lungs. The sky is a nice, deep purple color and the stars poke out from above. It’s very quiet out.

As expected, the air around me warms. I knew he would follow.

Slowly, I turn and force a calm expression. The first thing I notice are his bronze eyes, always. His black hair grew out longer, like I’ve preferred, covering up the uneven locks he chopped off three months ago. He’s wearing a pristine black uniform with gold buttons on the wrist and front. It reminds me a lot of his general’s uniform back in Summerton. But this one is simpler, the royal elegance taken away. Nothing to show he ever belonged to a royal family with a history of kings. But he’s still as attractive as he ever was, even more so now that we spent some time away from one another.

I hold in a breath as Cal’s eyes rake over me. His stare lingers at my exposed collarbone, a hint of surprise in his eyes as he realizes the brand is gone. His face silvers a bit at how tight the dress hugs my curves and I mentally thank Gisa for having such good taste in clothing. Clearing his throat, he meets my gaze again after taking inventory of each other.

Neither of us know what to say after our last encounter, when I asked for space. But we also don’t tear our eyes away from each other, soaking in everything that we can. Everything that we missed for the past three months.

Cal takes a hesitant step forward. “May I join you?”

I nod. He moves forward cautiously to stand beside me, facing the valley of mountains and the night sky. I turn to face the scenery as well. There’s only a few inches between us but the heat around him reaches out to me, and I hold back a shudder from the contrast between warmth and cold air.

“So, your brother…” he starts off.

“That’s the topic you want to begin with?” I roll my eyes.

Cal laughs, and the sound is so reassuring. I can’t help but smile despite the awkward tension in the air. “That’s pretty much what brought my attention to you tonight.”

“You mean that’s what brought everyone’s attention to us,” I point out. More stars peek out above us as the night draws nearer.

“Yeah.” Cal goes quiet for a moment. “How has Montfort been treating you?”

I feel his eyes on my face but don’t turn to look at him. “It’s been nice not having to worry about anything regarding the cause. A break that I very much needed after everything that happened…” I trail off uncomfortably. “How is Norta?”

Glad for the immediate shift, he says, “It’s going well. Things are still rough for the Silvers to get used to, but progress is being made. Cameron and her father are extremely helpful with setting up fair wages and work conditions for Reds. We’ve been working on rebuilding Archeon to set up a democracy.”

A small feeling of pity rises in me as I remember Cal left behind his whole life and everything he knew. I took that away from him. He only has Julian and Anabel left as remnants of his old royal life. But he’s doing the right thing, I try to convince myself. Although, I’m also part of the blame for his loneliness. After all, I still left him behind in Norta even after he chose me.

Especially when I took his brother away from him too.

I don’t realize my hands are gripping the rail tightly until Cal puts his hand over mine. It’s warm.

Finally, I force myself to look up at his face and find a sad expression mirroring my own. It catches me off guard. Underneath all this small talk are words dying to be said.

Biting my lip, I rush out, “I’m so sorry for-”

“Don’t,” he cuts me off, still holding my hands. “You did what you needed to do.” He doesn’t break eye contact with me.

“But I still am. I’m sorry for everything,” I whisper. I want him to know how I feel. I want him to know that I had asked too much of him when he went through the worst of it, because of me. I want him to know that parts of me regret killing Maven. Parts of me regret ever meeting him, to throw his life down the drain. And that I’m so sorry for leaving him behind in a world that I asked him to rebuild. Knowing that he was alone because of it.

Cal’s expression softens. “I forgive you, Mare. I forgive you for all of it.”

But I shake my head. “You shouldn’t.”

This time he takes my hands into both of his, heating them up. I feel warmth around me, almost as if he is embracing me. Comforting me when he’s the one who really needs it.

“Do you resent me?” I ask, looking away regretfully.

“No.”

“Do you hate me?”

“I could never hate you.”

I look at him skeptically, but his gaze is steadfast.

“Mare, I want you to know that I waited for you.” Cal looks at me seriously, eyes wide. Wanting me to understand. “I meant it when I told you that you are everything I want, and that I… I…” He stumbles over his words and looks embarrassed. I don’t remember the last time he said he loved me, and it feels awkward to bring that up. He’s unsure if he’s allowed to use that word. We both look away, blushing furiously.

Warmth spreads inside of me, an undeniable feeling of happiness washing away my doubts. I’m relieved he doesn’t hate me. He doesn’t hold Maven’s death against me. Part of me is surprised that he still feels the way he does.

Nervously, I look at him. “I missed you too. I thought about you every single day.”

He cracks a smile, understanding that we both felt the same way during our break from each other. As usual, he’s waiting for my answer.

I take a step forward and he doesn’t move. He stays where he’s standing, watching me carefully. We’re inches apart from one another and I look at his lips, full and inviting. Wrapping my arms around his neck, he slowly brings his own hands down to my waist. Heat radiates off of him.

“You’re wearing the earring I gave you,” he says, noticing the fire red stud in my ear.

“I didn’t know how long farewell would last,” I murmur.

“Too long,” he whispers.

We close the distance between us, our lips melting against one another. The kiss is hungry, wistful. Days of longing collide as we press into each other, yearning for more. His hands run along my sides and I grip his black locks, relishing in how soft it feels. It isn’t enough, and when we pull away I can hear a soft sigh escape his lips.

“In the end, I’ve chosen you, Mare. I choose you over everything,” he murmurs against my neck. I shiver. “All I’m asking is for you to choose me this time.”

And how could I not choose him? Three months ago, we were dedicated to our own causes, but how could I deny him now? He was the only person who experienced anything close to what I experienced back in the Silver court. We were almost executed together, worked for the Scarlet Guard together, fought battles with each other. But I killed his brother. I killed him with my own two hands, no lightning or power of my own. I’m afraid of the strain this will put on Cal and my relationship. He claims to forgive me and looking into his determined eyes makes me truly believe it. But I know better. I know that Silvers have been trained to hide their own hearts better than anyone.

“It’s complicated,” I mutter.

“What makes it complicated?” Cal is trying not to let his irritation show at me pushing him away again.

I try to take a step away, but he holds me firmly against him. “You know what.”

The temperature rises a little. “I know that I’ve forgiven you. I know that I’ve chosen you over everything, stayed behind in Norta to give you space. I know that whatever demons I have to face inside of me, I’m willing to. I want to be with you, Mare.”

I chew on my lip, contemplating my own mixed emotions.

His brow furrows. “What else do I have to do to convince you that I am in love with you?”

The pounding of my heartbeat feels louder now that it’s said out loud. Now that he’s verbally expressed he loves me. More like, in love with me. I look at him now and every part of me is drawn to him. I know I love him, deep down in my bones, my vein, every part of me that feels alive. He is my first love.

Without saying anything, I physically answer to him. I kiss him again, stronger this time and Cal takes it completely. He reciprocates with a deep passion of his own. One hand finds the small of my back and pushes me closer into him. The other grips my thigh, inching underneath the hem. We don’t hold back at all, unlike the first kiss.

“This is what I have to do to convince you?” he pants, with an amused expression.

I breathe just as heavily, my body reacting to his own. “In the Stilts, we never used words. Actions speak more.”

Cal gives me his crooked grin and pulls us from the balcony inside to an adjacent room. We have no idea whose room this is, but we lock the door anyway. The room is mostly empty and reminds me of a sitting room to keep guests. He gently pushes me down onto the fancy couch and gets on top, in between my legs. I try not to focus too much on how he’s making me feel down there. I’m blushing furiously. I’m reminded all too much of the Piedmont base.

Cal kisses me and runs his hands all over my body. I sigh in pleasure.

“What do your actions mean?” he asks, smirking.

I kiss him hard and then pull away when he starts to undress. I begin to do the same, knowing all too well what comes next.

“It means that I’m in love with you as well, Cal.”

He shivers at the sound of my words and moves closer to me.

“It also means I choose you,” I whisper. He looks down at me with nothing but love in his eyes.

“I love you so much, Mare.”

“I love you too, Cal.”

For the rest of the night, we cross the distance three months put between us. We express all the longings, heartache, and love that we missed out on for weeks in this night. He is home to me. He is part of my heart. A huge part of it. And no matter what happens, there will always be a part of me that loves him.


End file.
